Krissy

pic spam!

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 20:35:02 GMT

050308: family party

about to enter the jumper lol my litto cousin took this of me =P

in the jumper with felicia!

jumper again with felicia & logan

then we got outta there and decided to have a photoshoot in the park's playground rofl

stripper friendsssss hahaha not

the first one is my favorite picture ever ehehe

and then I discover that nemo has a twin?!

nemo + beemer =) ahha

and then my sister decides she must punish nemo for barking so much...

051008: prom

@ SF's Westin St. Francis

hola I'm krissy =)

no, we were not dates although we match and blah blah

lololololol

1. excited about prom
2. dreaming about prom

mummy and daddyy

1. mimi, kim, zarrin, michelle m.
2. mimi

1. maristelle, melissa d.
2. melissa d.

1. melissa n., melissa d.
2. maristelle, melissa d.

1. melissa n., maristelle
2. jason again

and my favorite picture of the night!

053108: interact boat cruise

most of interact:
elaine, lewis, jason, herald, benny, anthony, lorenz, matt, enrique
kim, zarrin, me.

lol hi

matt, elaine, zarrin, lewis

kim, lewis, zarrin, elaine

zarrin ahah and jason got into the shot too

enrique & I on the wayy there in bennys car

while we were eating lol D: bra!

rekay & I trying to get the view haha

stupid wind

cindy, kim, zarrin and I after dancing ahaha

060108: sf with familia

mitchells = best ice cream ever

waiting in line with felicia haha

hahaha my brother hiding behind the window

with our ice cream! melon, oreo, mango

in japantown! my cousins and I also took purikura but I am lazy to scan haah

lolo, myself, kat, jessica, felicia, mommy

funny picture? ahah

lolo, my mom, me, g.a., marc, felicia & ryan, mommy, nico & tita lally

lolo, g.a., myself, marc, felicia and ryan, mommy

061408: DAHS graduation

honor guard girls heidi, cindy, janea & myself with sarah's mommy :P

alyssa pooh!<3

1. wifey ♥ always there for me
2. zarrin

1. joanna, the girl who likes to press my panic button hmph
2. melissa n. miss smarty pants and miss piss drunk chinese girl ;)

1. thomas chao, the guy I go to when I have no one to cut fourth period with
2. bee nguyen, best friendd whom I am so proud of because he almost didn't graduate!

1. melissa d., whom I am also extremely proud of because she wasn't considered a senior until after first semester!
2. michelle megia, one of my favorite people on that london trip =)

1. maristelle my super smart cousin going to cal :D
2. elaaaine who always has the most random things to say

1. mutya omg freakin' gorgeous girl that I would go lesbo for
2. weng :]

cynthia ! haha the girl who can't drive :] and picks my nose in videos :P hahaha

me & zarrin again haha

jason, benny, dawn, mar, zarrin, rekay, myself looking like a hoe?

some honor guard girls lol
lauren, vanessa, tracy, lady, weng

honor guard again!
jason, mikey, herald, benny, lorenz
lady, tracy, vanessa, lauren, myself

honor guard with some honor grads
mikey, lady, vanessa
benny, lorenz, lauren, jessa, herald, tracy, weng, james
mutya, rekay, jason, myself

darren owning jason hehehe

ok thats it yayy.

if you love something, set it free... right?

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 17:12:47 GMT

I packed up everything he's given me and everything I have of his and I'm giving it back.

I am blocking him on AIM.

I am deleting him from myspace and facebook.

I am taking him off of my phone contacts.

life sucks.

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 05:04:41 GMT

before prom, I found out jason likes one of my closest friends. actually, I had a feeling he liked her even before that... so in a way, I guess I've known since april. it hurts so much. and it's worse because she doesn't realize how great he is, and he tries so hard for her but his efforts go wasted.

& damn, I know how shitty that feels because I constantly feel like I do pretty much everything for him and benny, but when it comes down to it, I still don't hold a high place in their hearts. I mean, whenever I go out to eat, I bring them back something even if they don't ask. but when they go out & I ask for something, they don't bring me it lol ;(

I don't know, so much shit has happened this school year...

I'm really glad that it's coming to a close, because I really need the summer to get my mind off of people and places and things and memories. but I think that will be hard because I'll be taking summer sessions at UC Berkeley and a lot of the people I wish to avoid will be around.

it's so hard to look at him and realize he's looking at her. and it's so much worse because we hang out a lot - almost everyday afterschool, just me and him or before school or whatever. and when we hang out, we usually get really close... like I mean :x you know, that kind of close. and we've had so many arguments over it. he always tells me he feels so bad because he's taking advantage of me and everything, but if that's the case, then why does he continue to make those moves?

and I should really stop letting it happen because I just end up even more confused & even more hurt when I see him trying to flirt with her the next day.

I really don't know what to do... she's one of my closest friends but it hurts me so much to hear her talk about their conversations and such. not that she likes him. but he talks to her the way he used to talk to me. and with everything she says, I miss everything about him more and more.

I wish I could cut them both off from my life, but she's my friend and he's my friend and me and him have worked so hard to get our friendship to be as good as it is right now.

for the first time since november, we haven't ignored each other for over a week. usually, I ignore him for about a day or he ignores me for a day, but it really depends.

=(

I wish more than anything to be over him. I want to forget him. I wanna forget all of the pain. I'm so tired of being hurt and disappointed all of the time. I just want to be happy again...

london/edinburgh 2008

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 08:43:38 GMT

DAY ONE: 021408 (American time) & 021508 (London time)

SFO to CHICAGO OHARE

Matthew Chao

CHICAGO OHARE

Khamille Sumodobila ♥

Melissa Nhan & Khamille

hello, I'm Krissy & I'm tired from being on the plane!

rofl omg they had the best toilets in chicago. the seat covers change with a wave of your hand! amazing!

CHICAGO TO LONDON HEATHROW

Harpreet Giri, Benny Hung. Jason Tiet

no lie, this shit was fuckin' addicting. but I opted to watch CSI.

LONDON HEATHROW

book vending machines! wtf!

I = TURTLE?

THE TUBE(PICCADILLY LINE) TO ACACIA HOSTEL

Maristelle Castro (cousin)

Matt & Harpreet

ACACIA HOSTEL (A.K.A. oh god this is where we're staying?)

Benny's 289473874 pound jacket and Jason sleeping already.

tired as fuck.

MORE TUBING!

Jason sleeps more.

Michelle Megia & Melissa & myself

Big Ben

The London Eye

Maristelle & Melissa & myself & Khamille & Michelle

because I am a dork :)

ah, funny story about this place. by the time we got here I was pissed at Benny, Matt, and Jason for taking too much offense to a comment I said. at the phone booths, I was like, "aww I want a picture with my boysss." and you know, I meant that in a really affectionate, friendly way ... not at all degrading or w/e and they got all defensive and bitchy about it so I ignored them for awhile.

nightlife :)
haha by the time we got here, I was tired of being a bitch. it definitely takes more energy to be mad at someone D: ahha

DAY TWO: 021608

omg I lovedddd this stuff! definitely the best stuff everrr. ♥

so, like, our first night in the hostel, I ended up falling asleep with the guys (Jason, Benny, Matt, and Harpreet) in their room because of um yeah and when I woke up in the middle of the night jason was cuddling me in his sleep rofl~ <3 and he was cold so I shared my blanket with him :] none of us wanted to use the hostel blankets because they were fucking nasty tbh. they had like, period stains & dirt on it and shit. wtf? ugh.

anyway, so around 2 AM Melissa & Maristelle are knocking on our door & Jason and I wake up because we're both pretty light sleepers and we're like wtf... so Melissa & Mar are like "can one of the guys sleep with us downstairs? some crazy people are knocking on our door and think they have a bed in our room." but we all kind of ignored them and went back to sleep ahaha.

annnd since we were all pretty goddamn jetlagged, none of us woke up until about 2PM roflll. ugh, waste of a day forsure but whatevs. so Matt, Benny, Jason and I went to some restaurant nearby after the morning routine of making fun of me for whatever stupid shit I did the night before *cough*

COOL AS FUCK.

so after lunch, Matt decided to go to the science museum behind the hostel and Benny, Jason, and I went back to the hostel to find that Khamille, Mar, Melissa, and Michelle were back. Melissa had her boyfriend with her :] and Michelle was gonna watch phantom of the opera, and Maristelle wanted to stay at the hostel so Khamille, Benny, Jason and I took the tube to westminster pier to go to that horror house thinggie.

on the tube :]

then we go bumper cars!

more Big Ben D:

and more!

London Eye again ahaha

then the group (minus the three weirdos, michelle and mar... meaning: Benny, Jason, Harpreet, Matt, Khamille, Melissa, myself) got hungry so we decided to go eat at this Gourmet Burger Kitchen place... man, was it nice. well, it looked nice.

and my food?

thai chicken burger.
it kind of reminded me of crap, the way it looked :\

but Jason's kiwi shake & Benny's strawberry shake were goood :)

then back to the crappy hostel!

Jason and I at the hostel

DAY THREE: 021708

we went to uxbridge (malls! yay! long ass tube rides! boo!) and :O :O :O KING'S CROSS.

platforms 9 & 10

YAY

ahaha everyone asleep on the way back.

and then we took a bus ride to Edinburgh, Scotland (I keep wanting to change the spelling to "Edinbrough" because that's how they say it there.) ugh, it was so long and I had to sit next to a complete stranger because I thought I'd be able to sleep on one seat just by myself but nooo some crazy lady had to ask if my seat was taken sigh. and then I couldn't sleep because she talked on the phone for a good two hours. UGH. anyway, the ride was long. it was about 8hrs? like, the time it takes to get from SF to LA. rawr :(

DAY FOUR: 021808

rofl, omg when we got to edinburgh IT WAS SO COLD :( and I was only wearing, like, a sweater, my plaid coat & leggings lmao. then I realized I had flats on and my feet were freezing so I put on my uggs :) hahaha

the walk to the hostel was HORRIBLE. ugh. it was more than a mile v___v;; and to top it off, we had our luggage with us. and I was trailing two suitcases T_T;; damn my need to overpack and shit. so by the time we were halfway to the hostel, I was pale as hell and I was feeling really lightheaded due to my lack of sleep, the cold, and my weak body strength :( sad. Jason and Benny offered to carry my luggage for me because they could see how sick I looked but I refused to let them because :X I want to show them that I can do it without them! and that I'm strong :) ehehe.

anyway, we FINALLY got to the West End Hostel, thank goodness. I was so happy that I sat on the floor, took Benny's jacket and covered myself up and took a little nap ^_^

Mr. Graham & Mrs. Graham asked if we all wanted to do a walking tour with them, but since I was sick Benny, Jason, Harpreet and Maristelle stayed with me :) (plus, they didn't really want to do anymore walking)

Benny, Jason, Harpreet and I walked a little up the street to this cute cafe and had breakfast. lol, they ate haggis xD and I just had a vegetarian meal because they said I should eat vegetables :P it was good though.

especially my hot chocolate :)

then we walked back to the hostel with some food for Mar, who fell asleep where I last did :P haha

Benny & the hostel lounge/media room

much nicer than Acacia

50p a game :( ahaha

later that night, Matt, Michelle, Khamille, Harpreet, Jason, Benny, Maristelle and I went out to dinner. hahaha, we walked around for like half an hour trying to pick a place to eat and ended up eating at "La Piazza."

hahaha :)

my cuties ^_^

Harpreet, Benny, and Jason went out to a piano bar around 1 or 2AM so I hung out with Matt in the lounge area downstairs till they came back haha. they had absynth! ahh. it sounded yummy. peppermint-y.

3 in the morning haha.

then Benny, Jason and I went upstairs to "sleep" but really we stayed up another half hour just laughing at each other. then once Benny fell asleep, Jason and I were playing around w/ each other and finally I climbed over to his bed (we were on the top bunks next to each other) and we fell asleep together :)

DAY FIVE: 021908

we were all supposed to go to this Lochness Tour thing, but no one really woke up on time hahaha, oh well!

so Khamille and I decided to get ready while everyone else was asleep, and we walked to the grocery store & bought breakfast, lunch, and ice cream ♥

THESE TWO ICE CREAM BARS WERE SO GOOD OMG.
and even their microwave dinners were fuckin' good. wtf.

we come back and we discover...

carebear on Stephanie's bed. tucked in. lmao.

so we moved it around :) just to piss her off because she's freaky as hell.

UM YEAH THEN SOME CRAP HAPPENED THAT NIGHT THAT I DO NOT WANT TO POST BECAUSE IT IS PRETTY DISGUSTING AND YACK WORTHY... literally.

DAY SIX: 022008

so since we missed the 2-19 Lochness Tour, they said they'd pick us up the next morning instead. er, well... seeing as some crap happened the night before, the kids of room 10 decided to skip out on that shit hahaha.

then later that night some gay shit happened hahaha...

Matt likes to sleep with Jason and Benny wants to join! :)

Benny likes a slow jerk

I guess Jason does too

I suppose he also likes it hard :o

DAY SEVEN: 022108

we took a walking tour of Edinburgh for our last day in Scotland :)

at some point after this picture, I got separated from the group. lmao. Jason kept saying he wanted a scarf, so I was looking into the stores while on the tour to buy one for him... then I ended up getting separated from them. eventually, I found them all again and yeah :) Jason was really happy about his scarf. :)

yeah this place stinks. beer, spit, dead bodies, blood, shit, wtf...

end of tour.

after this, I started feeling REALLY sick from the cold and all the walking and everything... and I don't think I ate that day. at one point, while crossing the street I started to cry 'cause my body hurt so much and Jason and I just ended up sitting at a cafe for awhile.

DAY EIGHT: 022208

back to London!

Mr. Graham, Elizabeth, Mariana, Stephanie, Maristelle, Melissa, Michelle, Khamille, Harpreet, myself, Jason, Benny, Matt

tower bridge.

Myself & Maristelle!

the kids :)

OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M FINALLY POSTING THIS.
IT'S TAKEN ME THREE MONTHS HAHAHA.

28 hrs.

Thu, 15 May 2008 03:25:00 GMT

lmfao, I had my new SE w580i for just 28 hours and it's already been taken away from me =)

hs drama?

Tue, 13 May 2008 01:59:55 GMT

FUCK A PROM.

shit, so I bump&grindd with this guy that my best friend doesn't really like, and when I tell him -- BECAUSE I'M HONEST & DON'T WANT TO LIE TO MY BEST FRIEND -- he starts to FUCKING IGNORE ME. fuck, like, FULL ON IGNORE ME. prom was saturday, and he hasn't talked to me at aaaall since then. I've tried reaching out to him, tried getting him to talk to me again, but he just doesn't respond and he just fucking ignores me. FUCK, I can't stand it. you'd think I'd be used to being ignored or neglected by best friends, but this is the fucking worst. he rarely ignores people. he's ALWAYS been there for me, no matter what I've done. god, I've done so much worse shit with the guy I was dancing with than GRINDING ON HIM, yet I get the silent treatment NOW?!

today, after AP testing, me, him, jason, matt, herald, janice, thomas, and the guy I danced with hung out after the test. I was so angry because he would talk to the guy I was dancing with but ignore me. wtf is that shit? it takes two to fuckin' tango, babe. it's not like I was the only one working it and shit. god.

I have so many classes with him, I can't stand him ignoring me =(

JABBA BABIES <3

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:09:14 GMT

ahhh you sexy bitch.

you give me something to think about

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 10:16:22 GMT

so, over the last week my friend Zarrin and I have been getting close because we've found that we're similar in hella ways. mostly, we're going through the same shit with our guys. together but not and only in private. hah.

anyway, on friday during school we were telling jason & benny how we found out we're really alike. ever since then, jason's been wondering HOW we're alike. after much torture, I finally told him, "everything she says to you about anthony... is everything I say to her about, well, you."

from then, we had a nice talk. I told him how helping rin & ant try to solve their monday night quarrel made me want to work things out with jason & jason said, "isn't it already worked out?" but he doesn't even know what we really are, so idk...

the conversation took a sad turn for me when he told me he feels awkward telling me things. he can, but only to a certain extent. I want him to be comfortable with me, to be able to count on me, you know? it's okay if it's not now... but I hope one day he can.

I don't know, the talk didn't really get us anywhere... but I got things out in the open with him. and I'm glad. I feel better. I just want to figure "us" out.

hopefully, I see him today so that I can give him a big hug because I miss him :(

UGH.

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 07:28:03 GMT

I wanna be happy again!

it's all a fucking cycle.

exclusive;

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 07:36:39 GMT

haha it's been hella long since I've updated. like, in detail... and shit. and since I'm bored atm, I might as well :)

JANUARY 08
so the new school year was off to a bad start, duh. since november, I'd gotten into a habit of cutting classes that didn't distract me from my problems. so, nearly everyday I'd excuse myself from either fourth or sixth period - or both - and usually, my wife (Katrina) and girlfriend (Melissa) and myself would walk around campus "taking yearbook pictures" or visiting our favorite counselors. naturally, my grades started dropping. well, only in sixth period (Pre-Calculus) since I need to be in class in order to know the material on the test and all. oh well.

anyway, I started getting myself into real deep shit. I became involved with a guy for the physical attention. this really wasn't a problem until my parents found out about my D in Pre-Cal and deduced that I'd been neglecting my studies for a guy that had the same tardiness record as myself in this class. (yes, that means that my parents actually went to the school and asked to see the attendance for ALL students in ALL my classes =_=) I "ended" it due to my parents orders, but really I just kept it more secret.

during this time, jason was in Hong Kong & Japan. so I really wasn't trippin' about the way my life was spiraling out of control since he wouldn't find out about it. why would I still care anyway, you ask? because I knew that he would be disappointed in what I was doing & that his vision of me would be pretty much tarnished & any chance of us getting back together would have been kaput.

meanwhile, I was influencing my BFF benny hahaha. I influenced him to cut class :P we had random BFF lunch dates while jason was gone. oh, and he knew about how I was messing around with another guy & he was on the verge of taking advantage of me... I don't blame him though. anyway, everything changed when jason came back from his trip...

the day he came back to school, him, benny & myself left during fourth period to go to Champa's, a thai/vietnamese cuisine restaurant. after we finished eating, we went back to jason's house (his parents were still in hong kong). before benny and I were gonna leave so that he could drop me back off to school to get my car, jason started flirting with me ;o I was left realllly confused but I was incredibly happy at the same time.

the next day, I was hungry in the morning & had a sub, so thomas, benny, jason and I went to jack in the box during first period. more flirting. and lots of farting in my car =_= those gassy-ass douchebags. dropped off jason at the front of the school so that he could go to APUSH, tried to get in to the student parking lot but the gate was closed so thomas, benny, and I parked on the side of the school and stayed there till third period. went to third period while thomas filled up my tank (with his money! lovelovelove) and re-parked my car in the student lot. then, after lunch, jason, benny, matt and I decided to go eat dim sum. more and more and more flirting and even some 'I love yous' and hugging. my asshole best friends made me drink tea (I hate tea) and made me try something hella spicy (I can't handle spicy) but jason was trying really hard to show me he still cared & drank my tea for me and ordered me water after I had that spicy mustard thinggie D: ♥ went back to jason's house and jason and I kissed :)

anyway, of course my parents would have gotten suspicious about all the calls the school had given them over the last two months. so they took matters into their own hands and nearly pulled me out of school to transfer me to John Swett. instead, they decided to put me on "probation" which I'm still on, but they're a little more relaxed now.

anyway, I think the important thing is that jason and I are reallyreally good now :) we're not back together yet, not really anyway. we act like we are when we're alone, but we both know it'd be troublesome to be in a public relationship again. but we definitely love each other still :) you can imagine how happy that makes me hahaha.

FEBRUARY 08
one night in february, I decided to go to jason's house while his parents were still gone & my parents were out. we had a really nice, long talk. we got into an argument, kinda, and I was like about to cry and he saw that and he was like don't cry please ;( so I said okay... and he goes I'm sorry... we can still be friends... right? and I said ...but why did you start this in the first place? because you know :x he'd been flirting with me and we'd kissed and stuff.

and he didn't say anything and I was like I've changed... and he goes I know you have and I'm so proud of you for that. krissy, you're a wonderful girl, youre one of the best out there. you've taught me so much and I'm so thankful for you. and then he was like I'll never forget what you've taught me. and then he started crying :( so I started crying and he was like over the last few months I've been thinking and I've realized how badly I screwed up with you.

and I was like it's not just your fault, it's mine too, so don't say that please and he cried even more and he was like no, it's all my fault... I never appreciated you enough for what you did and you always gave so much more love than I did and I said that it's not true and he was the one that always tried to make things work for us and that I never realized that till it was too late and we just hugged for awhile and then I had to go back home.

so he called me while I was driving and we had a nice ass talk and he was like hey if any guy breaks your heart, tell them I'll kick their ass okay? and I said haha okay and your next girlfriend too! and she better not be as great as me. and he goes hahaha okay. but what if she is? and I said then.. I hope you've learned from everything. and he goes I have. you've taught me so much. and I was like you've taught me hella more... like I've learned so much about myself and relationships and everything and it's so unexplainable.

and he goes no you've taught me a lot more. then he said hey.. we're still friends right? and I said yeah, of course, always. I'm glad things aren't awkward between us anymore. and he said yeah, me too. and I said because honestly, the months we weren't friends were really shitty for me. and he said I'm sorry... it's all my fault. and I said it's not because I should know how to depend on myself but I became hella dependent on you and that pushed you away. and he said but still.. I wish I didn't screw up so badly. then your grades wouldn't be so low. and I said haha my grades?! and then yeahh.. then when we were about to hang up he said you know I'm always here for you right? and I said yeah =) and you know I gotchu tooo. and he goes yeah okay be safe.. I'm sorry.

so that was really nice :) it really alkfjeljfe it was so heart-warming. I love him hellaaa ♥.

annnnd my most exciting part of februaryyy!
LONDON/SCOTLAND.

I'll do a separate post :)

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 07:24:46 GMT

I keep disappointing the people who love & care about me the most.

I suck at life.

firsts of 08

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 07:28:28 GMT

john, benny, sarah, myself, matthew

francesca, bianca, yoli, kay, myself

ROFL.

eighth grade; myself, bianca, yoli

currently; myself, bianca, yoli

highlights of '07

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 07:18:42 GMT

MY BABY

THIS FAG :)

MY BFFS!

HARRY POTTER ;]

PROM

FAMILY DUH

HOMECOMING

CHRISTMAS

2007

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 10:14:51 GMT

the year started off with family at my house & me and Jason telling each other 'Happy 2 Months!' and 'I love you.' then later that day my cousins, aunts & uncles came over & so did Cindy. a few days later, Jason and I spent some time together during the winter break at my house. school started again the week after.

academics: I started going downhill. I did shit I wasn't supposed to, but it was fun while it lasted. I ended up with a 3.7 GPA in the end - not bad, for most people. but for me, it was definitely the worst I could have done. then again, the B's were in classes where the teachers hated me (fuck you, too, Reyes), or I just sucked at the subject (fuck math!) Czarina, Benny, Jason, and I took Speech 120 during the summer at Contra Costa College. it was fun, actually. even if our professor hated me. in addition to that class, I took Chemistry 119 with this fobby ass teacher who loves Harry Potter as much as I do, and I met Nikko. I ended up with C's in both of those classes, but whatever. the rest of the summer consisted of catching up with summer assignments that I DEFINITELY had not been doing. I finished them the best I could, though. then came the start of The Dreaded Junior Year. while mrs. hernandez scared most people shitless, my BFF Benny and I were like, "SHE'S HELLA COOL. We expected this shit from her. Hey, she mentioned her ovaries!" in the first quarter, I did good. but near the end of the year, some shit got in the way & I've been neglecting my schoolwork. hopefully, this all turns out for the best then.

friendships: me & Valerie's friendship disappeared for awhile at the start of 2007. but we're not ones for complete grudges, so we made up, which we were both hella happy about. it didn't take long to start off where we left off. i definitely became closer with Felicia; we were inseperable. I got closer to my Kuya Bennny! and during prom, I met my bestest Beeeee. even though that friendship caused some problems between Jason & I, it was over as quick as it happened 'cause me & Jason were just that good. haha. but then Bee & his then-girlfriend got into shit because of me & ... that wasn't so pretty. but they broke up & things were okay for awhile. during the summer, Bee & I went through this phase where we'd only talk every few weeks. as with any year, I lost contact with a few good friends and got closer with others. Matt, Benny & Bee have been my backbone since the end off the summer =) now, the end of 2007 has brought one great friendship (mine & Jason's) to somewhat of a standstill.

relationships: we went through so much together. before, I'd look at it and only see how I fucked up and how he fucked up... and how we fucked up together. now, I can see that the good outweighed the bad in soo many ways. & it was great while it lasted. too great for me to let go, at first. but I've learned. he's taught me a lot. I've taught myself a lot. I wish things were better for us at the moment, but I'll be okay. and he will, too. I'll always have love for him. my first love, you know? you never forget the first love. I'll never forget Jason Tiet.

family: I can proudly say that I treated my family better last year. I'm slowly learning how to do the right things. they've seen me go through a lot of changes, and my parents have seen the first signs of me really growing up. and I think they're learning how to accept that, which is good. all of my family has been through a lot last year - not just my immediate family, but my aunts, uncles & cousins, too. but this year we're making changes. we're all working hard towards our goals to make it better.

myself: honestly, I've grown up so much this year. I was telling Valerie the other day that I was reading old conversations and when she'd feel down, I'd say stupidass stuff that wouldn't even really make sense & probably didn't make her feel any better but now I can actually say shit that makes sense & is actually good advice. I mean... you know. haha. I've definitely grown as a person. and I'm glad for the experiences I've had. even though it's put me through a lot of shit, it'll only make things worth it for me later on.

I'm looking forward to facing 2008's challenges head-on.

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 05:05:57 GMT

it's not that i had built up a lot of hope for myself and jason.
i just never thought it was truly over.

how do you go from being the one he can't live without to being the one he can't even be in the same room with if he had a choice?

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 19:58:04 GMT

jason broke up with me.

paradox

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 07:16:41 GMT

it's so funny.

last nov 3, I was confused about whether jason and I were really going out.
this nov 3, I was confused about whether jason and I were still together,
because after our nov 1 anniversary, he asked for a break because he "wanted his space."
but during the SATs and stuff everyone thought we were still together and we didn't say
anything different, and on the ride home we acted like we did before.

last nov 4, though much later in the day, jason became really sad because he didn't
know whether or not I'd choose him over andy, and he had just found out that andy & I
hadn't broken up yet.
this nov 4, he's really sad because I just told him about everything he's been doing to
hurt me lately.

happy one year.

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 03:41:39 GMT

I can't handle it.

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 19:07:39 GMT

the other day, a long-time friend
that I haven't talked to in a while
IMed me.

yesterday, I wasn't around for one
of my best friends, who got all F's
on his report card on his mom's
birthday. I spent the day with my
boyfriend.

today, two people contacted me that
I haven't talked to in a really long
time. one of them used to be one of
my best friends.

I'm starting to realize that all I've
been about lately is: school, leadership,
yearbook, church, myself, and my boyfriend.

the thing is,
I don't know how to change that.

summer?

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 22:22:05 GMT

not D:

summer school ended on the 26th. yaaaaay :)
finals were okay, actually. in speech we didn't
have to do much, since our final was take-home.
so we just had a party and as a final evaluation,
we had to do a toast or whatever. mine was gay.

I'm really really really ughhhh about speech.
the class in general is okay, but my teacher hates
me! I swear, she does. seriously, I worked so hard
on my last speech (persuasive) and I definitely did
the best, and I think my speech was better than a
lot of other people who got the same grade as me (C)
but noooo. she just doesn't like me. grr. she gave
me C's on all of my speeches ;/ fag.

I checked my grade online for chem the other day
and OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I PASSED! I was sure I'd
gotten a D or something (I really should've asked
for pass/fail instead of letter grades though) but omg
I passsssed! I'm sooo happy afejgle <3

anywho... I'm grounded, I think. I'm not really sure
actually. I guess they have a reason :p they caught
me with a hickey hahahahaha. T_T; oh well.

but oh man... my mom was giving me a talk about it.
and how I shouldn't be thinking of sex and stuff. and
my music was still on and at that moment Pretty Ricky -
On the Hotline started playing, then right after that,
Krayzie Bone's The World Has Too Many Freaks started
playing :[ horrible timing ahahah

I watched Harry Potter for the second time (finally)
yesterday! :D definitely not as good without the 3D part
but it was still great :)

review on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows later?
gotta finish AP Bio real quick though haha.

that's the way that it is

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 19:09:20 GMT

eight months.

today is me and jason's eight months. we're on this
"fresh clean start" thing so anything I ever said about
not asking him to go somewhere with me go byebye.
sooo, you know, I asked him to go to the movies. and
we actually are. in the eight months we've been together,
we've never been to the movies hahaha.

but then...

omg, all I did was ask my dad if I could go to the
movies with Jason, Felicia, Jay-r, and Jessica. and
he said no at first. but then he said he'd let me if
my sister goes and if she SITS BETWEEN US.

wtf is that? he says he trusts me, so why the hell
does he need a partition there? he said "I just don't
want Jason to feel pressured to put his arm around
you blah blah if Jay-r does it to Felicia."

MY ASS!!!

then he goes on about how he thinks people will
think that my parents don't care about me if I'm sitting
with my boyfriend at the theatres. WTF? oh, and the
best part is that he THEN said that if Marc were to go
out with a girl, and that girl's parents didn't say, "Oh,
you need to bring your little sister and she needs to
sit between you two" then he wouldn't care. BECAUSE
HE'S A GUY.

jeeeebus...

just 'cause I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm vulnerable
to the shit that guys may pull. and wtf am I gonna do
with my sister and my cousins there?! it's enough to
be bringing my sister. that's so retarded. I swear.

I have been crying way too much lately.

but whatever, I'm still going to the movies.
ughhhh... =____=;

they can't stop us

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 01:40:29 GMT

ewww I started summer school at CCC on Monday.

10:25 - 12:30 Speech 120
1:10 - 5:30 Chemistry 119

Chemistry is fucking BORING. I swear. I always feel like
I'm gonna die in that class. hahaha. oh well, that's what I
get for wanting to be in AP Bio junior year. it's fine though.
I don't think I would have survived taking AP Bio AND Chem
while doing all my other stuff too :x lalala.

Speech is actually pretty fun :x well it's more like... the
people there are fun haha. Man it seemed like it'd be kinda
easy but she has high expectations and stuff? I mean she
grades hella hard even though she seems all "OO IM NICE,
I PROMISE I WON'T BITE..."

omg but my Chem teacher is so cute! ehehe she's like...
taiwanese or something and she makes the most fobby
remarks ever.

(while reviewing scientific notation) "See, I no want write
all dose zewoess all daa time!!!"

ahaha she treats me like a baby though :/ psh.

IT REALLY DOESN'T FEEL LIKE SUMMER. *cries*

DEAR WORLD,

Sun, 27 May 2007 06:24:07 GMT

YOLI IS
NO LONGER
A VIRGIN!!!!!

OH EM GEEEEE.

i'm a celebrity ;)

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 06:04:41 GMT

lmaoooooooooooooo lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao

apparently, some family members of mine in the philippines are spreading rumors in the family about me that I'm mofuggin' getting ELOPED and that I'm PREGNANT.

woohoo, family drama! my favorite ;)

lmfaoooooofkfljglk !!!!!!!

dawn (11:02:37 PM): who's the dad
krissayy (11:02:51 PM): it'd be: jason, andy, or benny.
krissayy (11:03:00 PM): i'm a whore, dontcha know ;)

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 06:59:33 GMT

dude I'm like, really bored.

club fair was today. I hate club fair! it's so afjkge. but I get to skip periods so :) wahaha~ but still! buying and selling and finding out you're unprepared D: so gay. I wish I brought my camera to school. damn. haha. oh well.

I feel like it's summer already. like today was the last day I got to see everyone else. what a strange feeling.

and wtf is that movie called?!?! a... something! it sounds like a freakin' good movie. but I don't remember who's in it or what it's called wtf?!?! I suck at life.